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Until next time be good, stay off the chems and stop doing what people tell you to.

On Monday, I talked a little about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men.

It feels like to 50 – that they can’t bring themselves to talk about it.

The fear of being “outed” as a virgin becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

Speaking of stories: I want to tell you the story about my first time. Not too far off from the average age of 17 actually, but even had I known, it wouldn’t have made me feel better at the time.

One of the reasons why men tend to freak out about the idea of being a virgin – especially being a virgin past college – is that we’ve grown up in the shadow of a cultural narrative that we believe to be law.The story turns our sexual development into a performance, just as masculinity is often a performance.And just as traditional masculinity is a fragile thing, any minor deviation from the Virginity Narrative throws the whole thing into disarray. And there will be plenty of people eager to reinforce the narrative, to mock us, and tell us that this deviation from the narrative calls our masculinity into question.The PUAHate forums that Elliot Rodger frequented take this to an almost fascinating extreme, comparing brow ridges and jaw angles and eye space in some sort of unified theory of sexual phrenology.Because when we fail to follow the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative, the fault lies with .

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